Title Text:Premature optimization is the root of all evil, so to start this project I’d better come up with a system that can determine whether a possible optimization is premature or not.

Title Text:’List of helicopter prison escapes’ and ‘List of sexually active popes’ are both entertainingly long, but sadly there’s no ‘List of helicopter prison escapes involving sexually active popes.’

Title Text:I can’t get any work done because my friend Catherine is sitting on my keyboard.

Title Text:Does the screeching chill your blood and herald death? If yes, banshee. If no, seagull.

Title Text:I hate how the media only ever uses the first part of this quote, stripping it of its important context.

Title Text:’How long are you going to keep this up?’ ‘Statistically, only four or five more decades.’

Title Text:My optimizer uses content-aware inpainting to fill in all the wasted whitespace in the code, repeating the process until it compiles.

Title Text:Listen, in a few thousand years you’ll invent a game called ‘SimCity’ which has a ‘disaster’ button, and then you’ll understand.

Title Text:“If you can read this, congratulations—the archive you’re using still knows about the mouseover textâ€聺!

Title Text:If a wild bun is sighted, a nice gesture of respect is to send a ‘BUN ALERT’ message to friends and family, with photographs documenting the bun’s location and rank. If no photographs are possible, emoji may be substituted.