Title Text:The real loser in an argument about the meaning of the word ‘hoverboard’ is anyone who leaves that argument on foot.

Title Text:I’ve got the Craigslist post ready to go! I wasn’t sure what category it should go in, so I listed it as property and put that it has ‘good sun exposure.’

Title Text:My theory predicts that, at high enough energies, FRBs and perytons become indistinguishable because the detector burns out.

Title Text:SOUND DOGS MAKE: [BARKING] [HISSING] [LIGHTSABER NOISES] [FLUENT ENGLISH] [SWEARING]

Title Text:Due to a minor glitch, ‘discharge patient’ does not cause the algorithm to exit, but instead leads back to ‘hunt down and capture patient’.

Title Text:Seriously considering buying some illegal drugs to try to turn them back into cold medicine.

Title Text:Oh no, I changed the future and now I’m disappearing! Wait, never mind, it was just my hat slipping down over my eyes.

Title Text:I’m trying to be healthier, so after I eat this brick of cheese, I’ll have a spoonful of grease-soaked vegetables.

Title Text:That guy only drives an alkaline car to overcompensate for his highly acidic penis.

Title Text:[Dog returns with the end of a string in its mouth] [Voice drifts down from the sky] Kites are fun!